The way we feel about ourselves decisively affects virtually every aspect of our experience, from the way we function at work, love or sex, to our behavior as parents and the possibilities we have to progress in life. Our responses to the events depend on who and what we think we are. The dramas of our lives are reflections of inner vision we have of ourselves. Therefore, self-esteem is the key to success or failure. It is also the key to understanding and understanding others. Apart from the problems of biological origin, I know of a single psychological difficulty-from anxiety and depression, fear of intimacy or success, abuse of alcohol or drugs, poor performance in the study or work to abuse women or child rape, sexual dysfunction or emotional immaturity, to suicide or violent crime-which is not attributable to poor self-esteem. Of all the judgments that we submit, none is as important as our own. Positive self esteem is the key requirement for a full life.
Let’s see what self-esteem. It has two components: a sense of personal competence and sense of worth. In other words, self-esteem is the sum of the confidence and self respect. It reflects the implicit judgment that everyone does their ability to meet the challenges of life (to understand and overcome the problems) and their right to be happy (respect and defend their interests and needs). Having high self-esteem is to feel confidently fit for life, that is, capable and valuable in the sense just indicated. Having low self-esteem is feeling useless for life, wrong, not with respect to a given subject, but wrong as a person. Have an average self-esteem is apt to fluctuate between feeling useless, right and wrong as a person, and express these inconsistencies in the behavior-sometimes act wisely, sometimes foolishly, reinforcing thus insecurity.
Ideally, everyone should enjoy a high level of self-esteem, experiencing both an intellectual faith in himself as a strong feeling that we deserve to be happy. Unfortunately, however, there are many people that this does not happen. Many people suffer from feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, doubt themselves, guilt and fear to participate fully in life, a vague feeling that “I am not enough”. These feelings do not always recognize and readily admit, but there they are. In the process of development, and in the process of life itself, we find it extremely easy to get away from a positive view of ourselves, or not ever get to shape it. Maybe we can not ever be satisfied with ourselves because of the negative contribution of others, or because we have failed our own honesty, integrity, responsibility and self-assertion, or because we have tried our actions with an inadequate understanding and compassion.
However, self-esteem is always a matter of degree. I’ve never met anyone who lacked full of positive self-esteem, nor have I met anyone who was not able to develop self-esteem. Develop self-esteem is to develop the conviction that one is competent to live and deserves happiness, and therefore face life with greater confidence, benevolence and optimism, which help us achieve our goals and experience fulfillment. Develop self-esteem is to expand our capacity for happiness. The higher our self esteem, the better prepared to face adversity, the more flexible we are, the more we resist the pressures to succumb to despair or defeat.
The higher our self esteem, the more chances to be creative in our work, which means that we will have a better chance of success. The higher our self esteem, we tend to be more ambitious, not necessarily in our career or profession or in an economic sense, but in terms of what we expect to experience in life on an emotional level, creative and spiritual. The higher our self esteem, the more likely we are to engage in enriching relationships and non-destructive, and that like is attracted to each other, health calls the health and vitality and generosity of spirit are more appetizing than the emotional vacuum and the tendency to take advantage of others. The higher our self esteem, the more inclined we are to treat others with respect, kindness and goodwill, as they do not perceive them as a threat, do not feel “strange and frightened in a world he never made” (quoting the poem AE Housman), and that respect for oneself is the basis of respect for others. The higher our self esteem, the more joy we will experience by the mere fact of being, to awaken in the morning, to live within our bodies.